18 thoughts on “Modern Love

  1. I just read this…and am filled with gratitude that such a true love still exists. Many blessings on you and on your sons.
    Chag Chanukah Sameach.

  2. Zoe,
    I get the NY Times briefing every morning and half an hour ago I scrolled down and clicked on your feature. After reading it, as you may recall (lol) I immediately started following you on Twitter (tx for the follow back, it was sweet of you!). My heart breaks for you and your sons, and my writing talent aches to be as terrific as yours. The feature is perfectly composed. Congratulations, and I’m sorry you were able to write it. I have a feeling you know what I mean.
    Susan McCorkindale

  3. Zoe,
    I just read your Modern Love essay in the New York Times. Thank you. I suddenly lost my husband 10 months ago and I have two young children and your writing captured the spectrum of emotions I have been going through. From revisiting the first days/years of our relationship to the utter shock of the unfathomable happening and the endless questioning of how and why; to the sadness and pain I feel for my children’s loss to now looking for any signs that I can find that indicate that he is still with us and will forever be part of us. I also feel altered in a way that I have days where I don’t know who I am or there is a transformation happening that I don’t know where it will take me. As you ended your piece, I do still have optimism for the future and am marveling at what traits I see of my husband in our children. It does help with griefing his loss that he will live on in our children. Again thank you so much for this essay and putting into words so much that I struggle to articulate on my own.
    Meghan Straesser

  4. Modern Love is one of my favourite NYT columns, but I almost always skip the bottom bit about the writer’s brief bio and other info. Your story was so powerful that It brought me here, wanting to read more of your writing. I have also just bought Invisible as Air on Amazon. Thank you for sharing and for honouring your husband’s blessed memory.

  5. Hi Zoe,
    I love this column in NYT, and your essay grabbed me immediately. It is beautiful and heartbreaking, and your writing is so captivating. About halfway through reading it, I realized that I worked with Ronen in our overlapping roles in community mental health. I left a year before he passed, but I knew in that too-brief time that I was lucky enough to know him, that he was kind and smart; a great therapist, husband, and dad. He spoke so highly of you and your older son (you were pregnant with your youngest at that time). I go back to review charts twice a year at that clinic, and his patients still talk about how much they miss him, how much he helped them, and how he was the only therapist who ever made them feel comfortable enough to trust a shrink :). I only heard about his untimely passing about 1.5 years ago, so I didn’t get to attend the funeral, but it sounds like I’m only one of many who admired him. He’d be so proud of this piece.
    Farrah Fang

  6. Hi Meghan – I’m so sorry that he’s gone. It’s not fair. And thank you for sharing your journey with me. I can absolutely relate. At 2 1/2 years out, I can tell you that you are still you, just a different version. Be kind to yourself. Lean on friends. Ask for help. It’s so hard. Single parenting is relentless, isn’t it? All of my best. xx

  7. Farrah – this means more to me than you could possibly know. Thank you so much for taking the time to write to me about Ronen. Every memory someone else has of him is magic for me and the boys and so important. I will share this with them. Thank you again and all of my very best. x

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